(It's kinda long, so if you're not interested in my personal life you can skip down to the next part of the entry)

With Thanksgiving approaching quickly, I initially thought that I was going to be in one of those moods where I'm somewhat happy but not fully joyful or grateful for what I have. Well, things have definately changed.

A couple of weeks ago I was kinda feeling mediocre. My friend had recently started dating a person who had previously hurt me, and I had a crush on somebody that was not emotionally mature enough to sustain a relationship that wasn't friendship. I found myself getting hurt a lot by this person and being irritated at my friend for dating someone that has a hate club made specifically for him. I felt like exploding inside, but regardless I just smiled and went with the flow.

What has changed now? Well, someone found me. My friends told me that he liked me, but it didn't really hit me until he invited me to see a movie with him. I went to the movies with him, my nerves calming down when I was able to just hang out with him and talk as we normally did an hour before the movie started. After the movie, we remained seated, and I told him that we should do something like this again. He then asked me if I knew about him liking me. *coughs* Yeah, I had to tell him that I knew at that point, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. He then asked me if I would be his girlfriend. I was extremely nervous at that point. I was like "Woah...no one's ever asked me that before...woah" I felt like an idiot, but in my defense I was really nervous. I was eventually able to say yes, but I told him that I still had some unresolved feelings that I was taking care of. He understood, and we hugged.

Well, those feelings that I had for that other person aren't there anymore. I still regard him as a friend, but I was finally able to move on. After that night I got nervous, thinking about what would happen if I never got over the other person, but I realized something...if I never let go, I was never going to move on. So I did something that I had been trying to do for several months: let go. I don't know the actual steps as to letting go, and I don't even know how I did it, but it happened...

With my friend's boyfriend, I used to not dislike him. I thought he was a pretty witty guy, and I thought he was generally good. But when words get exchanged at the wrong time, it can change things dramatically. After he told me something that was very hurtful to me, I just couldn't see him the same way...even when I thought I let go of what happened I just couldn't stand the thought of this person. Well, I had been very hostile with him in our last conversation and he wanted to know what he had done to deserve this. I told him how he had hurt me, and that I felt angry towards him. Another fight almost got started when he said that if I was to hold anger against him I shouldn't hold the VP position in Christian Club, but once I told him the reason that I shared this with him was because I wanted to start over with him, he immediately introduced himself, and we probably had the most emotionally draining and revealing conversation when it came to our personal lives. It really showed me another side to this person, and it led to so much relief and guilt all at the same time...but it's a new start.

So, what am I grateful for? I feel like I'm getting a new start, a chance to mend and move on a new path. I know many people don't get such a chance, and I just wanted to take the time to express that.

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I saw in 's journal that she was doing something with making sketches for ten people, and I thought that if I was to do that, then I would actually put something up on Deviantart (and it's really a sweet idea), so I'm going to force myself to put up these pictures by choosing people that I know will basically bother me until I put it up.

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2. (you guys get two pictures )
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Happy Thanksgiving everyone! May your holiday be filled with happiness!